Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
