She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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