I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
