i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
