it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
