Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
