She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
