weddingsv make me drug and hornr
handjob tips. give me some.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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