Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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