Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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