Where did you get a picture of my penis
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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