Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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