I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
