Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Are we in a gay sports bar?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
