I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
