I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
