you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
