I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dicks are not precious.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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