I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
