I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
