Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
