i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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