Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
