My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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