didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
