We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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