New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
