He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
