absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
