'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
