Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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