But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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