so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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