Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
