I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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