I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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