this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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