ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
