either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
