I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
