Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
