About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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