does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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