I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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