Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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