Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
