I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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