Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
