Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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