I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
