My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
you never un-have a 4some
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
