I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
