okay pat passed out under dana's car
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
