dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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